I know, I know...he shouldn't even have a pacifier still in the first place. The rule is "only at bedtime" (exceptions include illness and long trips). We've learned our lesson, so no judging! Here's how it all went down!
On Friday afternoon: So much whining on Evan's part, to the point of driving me nuts (he was getting over a stomach bug). "Hey, Evan, if you throw you're pacifier away, I'll buy you a toy." "Okay" and he immediately threw it away. Knowing me, I dug in the trash and cut the pacifier when Evan wasn't looking, so I wouldn't be tempted to give it back to him later. We took him to the store and rewarded him with toys for being such a "big boy." Fast forward to bedtime...lots of praises, reassurance that he would be just fine, kisses and loves. He was NOT fine! Tears to the point of puking (gross, blah), and the tears weren't only on his part. I held him in his little bed and cried. I felt awful. I was taking away something important to him. So, I dug through the trash and retrieved the cut pacifier and gave it back to him (after a nice scrub, of course). He still cried because it wasn't working, but would not let go of it. Finally, he decided that a broken pacey was better then no pacey and he fell asleep.
In the morning, I turned to my trusted friend, Google, and searched "pacifier weaning" and came to this conclusion, screw it--I'm buying him a new pacifier! Some "experts" say it is okay as a comfort tool (NOTE: justification to self) and I'm going with that! Now we keep it up high in his room, he only gets it while sleeping and we'll let him decide when he is ready to give it up. I'm sure it will come to the point when we'll need to intervene--I promise he will not still be using his pacey when he goes to Kindergarden!
Lessons learned:
All children are different. Tyler stopped sucking his thumb when he turned 4. He can occassionally be seen sleeping with his blankey (shhh..don't tell him I saw him doing that). Jared had no problems getting rid of his pacey. And Evan loves his (almost as much as his Gaggy, we've now learned).
Anna's pacifier will go before she turns one and has the opportunity to attach herself to it.
I will not judge others for the parenting choices they make. We do what's best for our family, they do what's best for theirs.
Give rewards after they've earned them! We typically do this, but we jumped the gun on this one!
1.21.2008
We're singing "The Pacifier Blues"
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7 comments to remember:
I found you! : ) Sorry Evan is having a hard time with the pacifier. Crying to the point of puking is pretty bad. Poor kid! My mom always uses that statement as reassurance for me- "no kid has ever gone to kindergarten" doing XYZ. Right now I'm not so sure Ethan won't be going to kindergarten in diapers!!!
We got rid of Emmas "B" this summer. We were at my parents house and my Mom was tired of her sucking it so she threw it away. Their was so many people around to distract her she was okay with it. First night was hard but that was it. Do it when you go home for a big family gathering! She is FINALLY starting to talk in sentences. I agree with you though. Who cares! Do what is easiest for you. Soon as he gets rid of it you will want to give it back to stop all the talking! :)
Sarah W
Poor Evan. Don't feel guilty for giving it back though. Sometimes you just never know how it's going to go. I would have been to the store buying more pacifiers too! He'll get rid of it when he's ready.
The hard thing is when something like this happens, I automatically tie it to every challenge my kids have...Like potty training Grant is really a microcosm of will he ever fit in, is everyone always going to make fun of him, I don't want him to be different! Why can't he be like everyone else? It just hits a panic button sometimes and that's what makes it so emotional for parents too. You wonder if you were cut out to parent this child, and how do you solve this new problem. That's when you just have to step back and do just what you did: realize everyone is different and has their own challenges. We just have to be there to help them through it.
Sorry to go on and on, that's just what happens to me, but you have things way more pulled together than I do! So if this isn't what happens to you, ignore it! haha
I actually wish Hayden had stuck with his pacifier, it was really useful for those times when Grant would wake up in the middle of the night. We'd stick the "plug" in and everyone would go back to sleep. Not so with Hayden, whine whine whine, cry cry cry...
P.S. Did you treat yourself to a little comfort too? I think after a night like that, you deserved at least a pedicure!
My friends are so great! Thanks for making me feel like not the worlds biggest sucker mom!
In the big picture this will all seem so small, right??
I have to say that we took Mikayla's binky away WAY before she was ready and I still feel bad about it.
It was the only thing that she had to comfort herself, and when we took it away she was SO sad. We cut the ends off the ones that she still had left and she would walk around the house with it stuck on her finger, and she would say, "My binky's broken." (It really was sad.)
Kids give things up when they are ready.
We took Becky's away, and she sneaks Katie's EVERY chance she gets.
Positive affirmation for the day:
YOU ARE A GOOD MOM.
Hehe, I forgot to add my mantra from the past year: they are young, they will never remember this! I mean really, what do you remember from when you were three? haha
Oh my gosh I have totally been there!! I finally had to go out of town and my friends broke Emily of the habit. That I would have to say was the one of the hardest things I have had to do with her thus far.
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